It’s not right that s/he shouts at you or your colleagues, but knowing how to deal with these outbursts may help to calm your boss down and bring some balance to the relationship.
First of all you need to try to be objective. Although you may have contributed in some way to his/her frustration you are not the cause and even if you were they have no right to shout like this. So the first thing you need to say to yourself almost as a mantra, over and over, is “this is not about me; this is his/her issue.” Mentally see yourself putting your hand up to block the onslaught. NB. Don’t actually do it or they could lose it completely. Edit what you hear, removing the words or gestures that stung, delete the tone of blame and get to the core of what they are asking for or saying.
Next you need to think about the causes for the outburst: has she got a lot on her plate at the moment? Did something go wrong recently with a deal? Are there issues with his homelife? Is she perceived as underperforming? Anger is often a cover for fear, so think about what may be the cause of that fear. It will help you to feel less defensive. The tendency to blame everyone else is often someone trying to shift the responsibility away from themselves, where deep down they know it lies. Make an effort to help your boss deal with the issues that have created the problems s/he is currently facing.
Your approach, however, is key. There is no point giving a lot of detail to someone who just wants ‘the bottom line’; equally there is no point trying to charm a boss who responds best to detailed, accurate data. Think about the way they work, their personality and give them what they need. You could try nonchalantly to find out (in passing) what their Myers Briggs personality type is (ESTJ is the most likely candidate); read up about that type and see if it helps you understand them a bit better. Try to adapt your style to enable the two of you to communicate more effectively.
Their behaviour is not your fault and you should never believe that it is, but you are in a position to do something to break the destructive cycle; so take a deep breath, gird your loins and do it!
What’s the right age to start a company?
Reference: inc; Kauffman Foundation
Of course the aforementioned entrepreneurs started US technology companies. So maybe there’s an argument that emerging technologies is the territory of the more youthful. However, Wikipedia’s Jimmy Wales and Netflix’s Reed Hastings started their business in their late thirties – much closer to the US average of 39.
Wales even posted on Quora, the question and answer website, “How can we in the tech community make sure that unusual success at a very early age is not mistakenly thought to be the norm?”
In the States, twice as many entrepreneurs over 50 start tech-related ventures as those under 25, according to the Kauffman Foundation.
It’s not necessarily about age – it’s more about having the opportunity to immerse yourself in the market you’re interested in, the willingness to dive off the deep end, really commit, learn quickly and minimise your opportunity cost.
Follow your passion; there is no age limit.
Four tricks to improve your memory
The problem is that when you are stressed and busy all the things you need to keep your memory working efficiently get sidelined or forgotten about(!) These vital ingredients for a good memory include good sleep, regular exercise and good food – so not the can of coke, chocolate bar and coffee that passed for a meal yesterday then?
Sleep allows your memories to be consolidated and filed away properly; good brain foods like wholegrains, fatty fish, nuts, seeds and fresh fruit give your brain the energy and nutrients it needs to function at its best; regular exercise actually increases the number of neurons in your brain.
So if you make a little time for all those things that are so vital yet so easily cast aside when you are busy you should actually be more effective.
If, however, that’s never going to happen or you just consider yourself a forgetful type here are four tricks to improve your memory:
1. Make up a story that connects items in a large list or visualize yourself walking through a room or building of your choice that is filled with items you need to memorise. It’s about connecting dots or finding a pathway between them. Images and stories are often easy to recall than simple facts.
2. Say or do something to consolidate the memory: repeat the person’s name out loud as you shake their hand; say “I am putting my keys in this drawer!” out loud, shout “Hooray!” or do a little dance as you leave your phone on the arm of the sofa. It all helps to make the action a conscious one.
3. Combine your senses to reinforce the memory: think about what you are seeing, smelling or feeling as well as what you are hearing; be entirely present in the moment. For example, consider a person’s defining facial feature and make a connection with their name e.g. Ol’ Tony Blue Eyes, Beryl and her Bushy Brows, Cyril the Squirrel etc.
4. Don’t cram if you want the memory to be effortlessly recalled. Build up to it slowly, going over previously learned things so the memory is stored in the longer-term, more protected cortex.
More than anything, when you want to make a memory, you need to do it consciously. Really think about what you are seeing, feeling, smelling, touching, hearing and doing and make a connection with what you are trying to remember. Oh and get some sleep!